19 reasons you should never travel to Ecuador

1. Visiting a beautiful emerald crater lake and camp beside it, with stars as your ceiling? No, thanks! It sounds too risky.

                                                                                              Photo: Cecilia Heinen

2. Probably even Charles Darwin regretted being surrounded by so much flora and fauna in Galapagos.

3. What about cultural diversity? Ecuador has more than 13 native languages, but I can barely deal with Spanish!

4. Surfing in Montañita? Hmmm… Surfing is difficult. I don’t get why people from all over the world love this beach and dream about staying there, never returning to their office jobs.

5. Too many happy people dancing during Mama Negra, a mix of African, Indigenous and Spanish culture. Who would like to meet the “ashanguero”, provider of food, hens and drinks for free? Are you kidding me?

6. Visiting some of the most diverse places on Earth, like Yasuní or Cuyabeno? No way! Some of those animals look scary!

7. Who cares about being in the actual middle of the world? Maybe you have more interesting plans than experiencing how gravity there allows you to balance an egg on a nail.

8. Climbing the Cotopaxi volcano…Achachay, just to think of how cold it can get. Besides, you have to be crazy to wish to stand 19,347 ft. above sea level.

9. Going to the famous Nariz del Diablo by rail might be boring. How come they haven’t built a bullet train?

10. Baños sounds so dangerous… Bungee jumping, visiting the Devil’s Cauldron, sleeping right next to the Tungurahua volcano (active since 1999!!). I can’t be bothered… Not even with the promise of the best parties and relaxing hot springs!

11. Ceviches, churrascos, carnes coloradas from Cotacachi, etc. are not particularly delicious. Why try the diversity of Ecuadorian gastronomy when you can enjoy a burger?

12. Who cares if Quito’s historic center was declared one of the first World Cultural Heritage Sites by UNESCO in 1978?

13. The swing at the end of the world is not that different from the swings you can find close to home.

14. Who needs another inexpensive, creative, hand-made gorgeous souvenir?

15. We are not kids anymore… How can anyone want to visit the Llanganates National Park and be curious about its legend? The last Inca emperor’s treasure hiding in the mountains… Really?

16. Drinking fresh juice or a cold beer in the covachas in front of the sea, enjoying countless sunsets and sunrises, forgetting the rest of the world exists as you fall in love travelling along the Ruta del Sol…Small pleasures are overrated.

17. Getting lost in Guayaquil’s colourful neighbourhoods, going up Santa Ana hill… No-way, those are too many steps to climb!

18. Cuenca’s astonishing churches, lovely rivers and breathtaking street art don’t count. Once you’ve seen a church, a stream or a painting, you’ve seen them all.

19. Places full of history, like the Ingapirca — a mysterious Inca city — are not worth it. Who cares about one of the most important civilizations on Earth?